Fixed on my Six-Year-Old Education

The idea of having a growth mindset to lose weight was not something I remember learning in any classroom. It certainly was not discussed at home or while playing on the playground. Instead, I remember the food pyramid hanging on the wall and my kitchen fridge. How about you?

This colorful chart was as memorable in my childhood as anything I learned on Sesame Street. Released by the U.S. government in the early 90s, the colorful stairs and illustrations taught us what and how much to eat. For those of you who may not remember, this was like the Food Bible or the “triangle of truth”. Despite its original intent, this graphic served as a concept upon which an entire generation built its beliefs and habits…including me.

During my childhood, the most important lesson I learned was that the foundation of my meals should contain bread and cereal. Or, in my six-year-old mind, that meant Lucky Charms, Cocoa Krispies, and Cookie Crisp🍪!

Changing Messages Causes Confusion

Accordingly, much of America followed suit, altering our eating habits to enjoy the extra slice of toast or heap of pasta for more than 10 years. Then, a reimagined pyramid with vertical columns was released in 2005, flipping every food type on its end (literally). Thus, the emphasis was now to cut carbs; make more room for vegetables, and watch how much meat and beans are consumed. It also presented a new concept: activity.

So, now we need to be more active? What does that even mean? Even though I was now a 21-year-old adult, the new model looked foreign, goofy, and wrong. Activity in our household included running downstairs for more Snack Packs and orange soda. The concepts of daily activity, exercise routines, active rest days, and playing sports were absent from familial chats and classroom convos. 

When I was 21, I firmly based my eating habits and beliefs about food and activity on the “triangle of truth”.

This looked like:

• Plates filled with a bed of noodles or rice and sprinkled with choice vegetables like corn and potatoes, with brown-powder gravy, of course!
• Comfort with my low-fat lifestyle, turning my nose up to salad dressing and nuts. 
• Falling for crafty marketing campaign messages, even buying into the idea of new products like Lay’s chips made with the fat substitute, Olean.

(Remember that? 😝 Eww, your gut probably does!)

Coping with a Fixed Mindset

For the next 15 years, I struggled to rationalize any other nutritional or self-care concept while cashing in my lifetime pass on the weight loss rollercoaster. All I could do was keep my hands inside the proverbial vehicle and pray for someone–or something–to get me on stable ground.

After many failed attempts, my jeans had stopped giving around the waistline. Even though I’d cut back on calories during the day (hello, early intermittent fasting), I would sometimes stay up until midnight to start eating again. At this point, I was at a loss, feeling hopeless, confused, and incredibly P.O.’ed.

Fixed Mindset vs. Growth Mindset

I was tired of feeling hopeless, so I sought expert help. After working with a nutritionist, I learned how poorly I’d been treating my body.

She helped me realize that so much of what I knew was old and often incorrect information. She illustrated that my fixed mindset was based on a decades-old concept. Instead of cutting a few calories to lose weight, I had hacked off half of my intake, practically sending myself into starvation mode.

But that was the ONLY way I knew to lose weight, and because it didn’t work, I considered myself a complete FAILURE.

What happened is I had developed a “fixed” mindset. I needed to consider a growth mindset.

Thanks to professional guidance, I was on a path that allowed me to grow, change, and improve my health.

In doing so, I learned there are different mindsets we can subscribe to fixed, curious, and growth.

While looking at the differences between each, we can better understand why we may take comfort in a fixed mindset and take steps to adopt a mentality that opens the doors for more possibilities.

Types of Mindsets: Which is your comfort zone?

In looking at the types of mindsets we can adopt, let’s look again at the effect of the Food Pyramid.

The clarity and simplicity of the original Food Pyramid lent itself to be an easy sell, especially with our devoted educators being required to drill it into our memory bank as kids. I’m more comfortable telling you serving sizes from the 90s than I am about how gluten may affect my body. 

Like spelling, times tables, and hopscotch, I learned about the Food Pyramid in my formative years. I knew nothing else and didn’t have the mental maturity to consider anything else. The result? A fixed mindset.

A fixed mindset spans all areas of a person’s belief system. From religion to the Tooth Fairy, children typically learn and inherently trust what they are told. These beliefs are common, and people base their opinions on what they know from a single source or even a trusted source like a teacher or parent.

It’s as if our life was narrated like a story with the adults of our youth as the narrators.

As adults, we have an opportunity to engage in a curious mindset if we choose to use it. You can consider alternate beliefs from new and various sources rather than what you know as familiar, accepted, and frequent in your family, community, or culture. 

It’s a healthy mental place to be, where you have an opportunity to assert your instincts and allow for the possibility that what you know is–dare you to say–false.

Can you change in adulthood?

The word “fixed” sounds so final. However, there is hope where there is curiosity.

With the world at our fingertips through our smart devices, one could argue that our society is more curious than ever. We may be more likely to search the Internet for reviews before making a purchase. And we are more inclined to tune into a podcast to understand a new concept better. 

Although new possibilities are exponentially higher with a curious mindset, it is still a mental state that hinges on the old, established beliefs we accept as truth. 

In other words, a growth mindset is where you own your ability to narrate your own story.

In simpler terms, a growth mindset is always pursuing learning, progressing, and advancing. With this way of thinking, you can see all the information at once. Then you can objectively weigh each morsel to determine which parts resonate with your core values and goals. 

After years of relying on my 9th-grade health education, my adult self wandered the paths of curiosity to discover my freedom–to think and practice on my terms. Tally-ho! I found affirmations and experienced their infinite power; I learned new nutritional information that eliminated brain fog and fatigue; and adopted new habits that felt natural as I saw my body heal before my eyes. Muscle tone. Clearer skin. Healthier hair. Ten pounds, 20 pounds, 50 pounds–gone!

All this came from my desire to change, heal, and evolve. 

How to Adopt a Growth Mindset

All good things take time. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and a trip to Disney World requires at least a three-day pass. If the concept of having a curious or growth mindset is new to you, it may take time, too, especially if you feel any resistance or resentment as you read this post. 

What you believe is not necessarily wrong. Only you know who you are and what works for you.

However, it is healthy to consider that we are not all-knowing. (If you were, I’m confident you wouldn’t be reading this post now!)

There are three significant steps toward adopting a growth mindset:

1. Acknowledging Your Reality
2. Tapping Into Your Curious Nature
3. Establishing Your Truth

Let’s dive into each of these to take immediate steps toward opening the way you think and see yourself. I have the perfect story to do so.

Acknowledging Your Reality

When I was younger, I’d poke fun at people “yogging” the streets of my hometown. (Yes, that’s an Anchorman reference.) Why would they choose to get hot, sweaty, and exhausted? My experience–and strongest memory of running–takes me back to high school. We had to run a timed mile as part of our gym class curriculum. (If you want to hear more about this story, check out my podcast episode about it!) The drama, anxiety, and dread surrounding that annual event left scars on my soul and significantly impacted how I saw myself. 

Consistently coming in second-to-last, behind the heaviest girl in school, I pegged myself as fat, slow, and a loser. Based on this and a few other experiences (like being a pretty pitiful swimmer), I established a fixed mindset about myself. I decided I would never be athletic. Even though I played soccer and got pretty good at goalkeeping, I was always anxious about failing the team, labeling myself the weakest link. 

Yet, the story I was telling myself was a total lie.

The fact is I just wasn’t conditioned.

The truth is I just needed to keep practicing.

The following 15 years were a cyclical struggle for me to lose weight. I’d exercise a little, starve myself, lose some weight, return to my old habits, and–you guessed it–gain all the weight back.

After nearly two decades, the logical part of my brain started yelling at me: “This isn’t working!”

I then realized how I saw myself and what I knew as self-care was way off. Over the years, I had relied too much on what I’d see my mother, friends, and coworkers doing to lose weight.

I realized I was not listening to the only person who mattered: me.

A fixed mindset happens when we write a story based on other people’s experiences and what other people tell us. Then, that fixed mindset is reinforced when we fail and experience negative emotions like shame, guilt, hopelessness, embarrassment, insecurity, and frustration. 

No one wants to feel anxiety and disappointment over and over. Our subsequent actions are methods to avoid these uncomfortable and often upsetting feelings. In a way, these stories then protect us from tough emotions.

Self-awareness–or a basic understanding that false or limiting beliefs have held us back–is where we start to acknowledge our reality. It is the gateway to having a curious mindset.

Consider a Curious Mindset

How many times have you signed up for a gym, gone a few times, and then just stopped while letting the auto-debits continue? Hello, Planet Fitness business model. 🙄

In the past, have you promised to walk with a friend, only to apply any excuse not to go? Are you an expert at slashing calories from your diet to drop weight, only to end up back in the fast food window to celebrate losing your first 10 pounds?

It’s OK if this resonates with you. I was guilty of all of these actions until I adjusted my thinking.

After realizing that I was practicing insanity (repeating the same pattern and expecting different results), I sought new information and experiences. I became curious.

In speaking with a coworker, I was persuaded to try the Couch to 5K app, which claims to take anyone with a super sedentary lifestyle (like me) and turn them into a 5K finisher. (Insert skepticism here.)

Despite my doubts and a fear of failure, I decided to give it a go. I saw it as a challenge, an adventure. One that could significantly impact the oh-so-hated 50 pounds I’d gained.

Choosing to Make the Shift

How did that turn out? Well, it was mind-blowing! Results collided with reality. I realized that I could be a runner and enjoy jogging!

Allowing myself to switch my negative perspective on running and exercise gave me a glass-half-full attitude. Focusing on what could be instead of what had been, I freed myself to engage the determined, high-achiever mentality that’d become dormant. Although those achievements were a little scary and uncomfortable–they were not something I was used to!–I persisted and reached a new level of fitness I’d not felt since I was a teenager.

What was the shift? The critical factor in this mindset stage is finding gratitude in your wins versus doubt in your abilities.

The shift from a fixed mindset is life-changing. Allowing yourself to feel pride, confidence, and even hope indicates you are on a path to healing your limiting beliefs. 

Claiming a Growth Mindset

The bridge to a growth mindset happens when you establish your truth. Diving deep into who you are are your core is the best way to do so. Truly owning what makes you unique–and loving every part of yourself–is an empowering mental place to be.

You’ve been counting calories and getting in your workouts, and now it’s time to exercise your brain. Claiming this growth mindset doesn’t take a step tracker or food scale. All it takes is an ounce of vulnerability to get started. 

By looking inward, we may find things we embrace, like our kindness and sense of humor. We may even discover different emotions we didn’t acknowledge before. Renowned research professor, lecturer, and author Brené Brown reminds us, “Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we will ever do.”

Should this feel too woo-woo for you, just focus on the facts. Look at your physical metrics, measurements, scale readings, and progress photos. Those elements are always telling.

Who is in Charge Anyway?

Your physical metrics can reveal a lot. So can your food choices. Are you choosing foods that align with what you feel is “healthy” or supports your wellness goals? Or are you demonstrating old habits that are hindering your progress?

Record and review your exercise efforts. Are you following the plan you’ve committed to completing? Are you getting your heart rate up, or are you even overexerting yourself to exhaustion? 

Through all these actions, you can learn more about yourself and what you can do to continue pursuing a growth mindset. Because the truth is, you are in control!

Blazing Your Wellness Trail

Understanding how and what we think allows us to regain power over what we believe. The benefits of these exercises are endless. They extend way beyond the wellness context in which this article is written. Setting aside yesterday’s old, tired, and fruitless beliefs makes room for new, fresh, positive, and productive thoughts for today.

(Even the USDA released yet another approach to nutrition in recent years, known as MyPlate. Check it out!)

Whatever you do, please don’t be a 90s version of the Food Pyramid. Henry David Thoreau once said, “Let your past refine you, not define you.”

You’re a powerful force and capable of all things. Go ahead and read that sentence again. It’s the truth.

Whether you review your ideas with a trusted professional, share some thoughts with a friend or write a full-fledged manifesto, you are well on your way to rewriting your story. Commend yourself for acknowledging your reality, allowing yourself to be curious, and for pursuing a path of growth.

You deserve to experience what it’s like to blaze a trail toward happiness and health.

About the Author

Erica Gurrieri, Wellness Mindset Coach

Fat. Slow. Outcast. Ugly. Invisible. These are some of the ways I described myself for much of my life. I hid behind my weight, eventually calling myself the Incognito Athlete, unhealthy enough never to reach my full athlete—and happiness—potential. After years of losing and gaining weight over and over, I found myself at an all-time high of 277 pounds. 

From that moment on, I began my weight loss mission to release 100 pounds. In starting this journey, I launched a documentary podcast–the Incognito Athlete Podcast–in which I embrace vulnerability to share helpful information about fitness, health, nutrition, and mental wellness.

I also have a wellness mindset coaching program and library of resources under construction to–once and for all–guide you toward freedom from food and the life you’ve always wanted.

I look forward to working with you by offering you an intentional, action-oriented path to achieving the ultimate reward: a healthy and happy life!

You can contact Erica directly at erica@unmaskedwellness.com.